How do you free yourself from abuse? Sometimes it can be difficult to end abusive relationships and to protect yourself because of the emotional and psychological traumas these abuses cause. No one deserves to be abused which is why we have prepared this article to help guide you during this terrible ordeal. You have to put up limitations and keep yourself safe. More importantly, try to reach out to family and friends for support and help.
Remember, this is not your doing. There are just people with malicious intentions, and you cannot control them.
Definition Of Abuse
Abuse happens whenever your rights are violated, and your freedom is suppressed. It is abuse when you are harmed in various forms: physical, psychological, mental, verbal, emotional, financial, spiritual, and sexual. “A critical factor, however, is controlling the expression and use of strong emotions. Many relationships begin with passion and intense emotion, but can evolve into emotionally abusive relationships,” Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D. explains.
If You Are Threatened In Any Way, As Mentioned Above, You Must:
Talk to someone regarding the abuse. You need someone that you can trust during this trying time. Still, it is best to go forward and inform the proper authorities if someone, your spouse specifically, is abusing you at home. If you are being hurt physically, don’t wait. Call the police immediately.
Come up with a realistic plan on how to protect yourself and end the abuse. One effective way to do this is by informing the police of such violence and put your foot down. An abuser must not get away with his or her malicious actions. It must be put to a stop.
Prepare a safety plan in case things get worse. Make sure you have planned where to stay, how to get there, and what to bring with you. If you cannot leave just yet, then, at least design a course of action. You need to do this, and yes, leave that person soon.
Know your choices. Seek legal advice. This is the best choice after going to the police, which is a priority.
Keep a record of your legal documents and financial statements. Safeguard your assets. Hide your money and don’t let the other person know that you have it.
Go to your local library or community center to know more information on other services available to help you. There are support groups in most places especially when it comes to domestic abuse.
Call the local police if you feel you are in danger. No abusive person is worth your life – stand up by walking away from this disturbed person immediately.
Why Some Women (And Even Men) Stay Amidst The Abusive Situation
It is common for the victims of a destructive relationship to feel trapped. “In essence, the reasons that survivors recant their stories are often the same reasons they stay in abusive relationships—a torturous combination of love and fear,” says Deborah J. Cohan, Ph.D., professor of sociology at the University of South Carolina-Beaufort. She adds, “Most survivors face a tremendous sense of ambivalence—wanting the violence to stop and the relationship to continue, though these may be incompatible goals.” Remember, you can always seek help from your family, friends, and especially the local authorities. But so that you know, here are some reasons as to why abused individuals feel that they can’t get away from the abusive relationship:
- They are afraid to take action.
- They feel embarrassed about the situation.
- They think that they deserve the treatment.
- They perceive that the abuse is normal.
- An abuser is an influential person.
- They don’t want to be a burden.
- They have nowhere to turn to or to go.
- They feel protective.
- They don’t want to cause problems.
- They fear that the relationship would come to an end.
- They feel that everything is their fault.
- They think they need the abuser or is attached to the person.
- They feel that they can’t leave especially if the abuser is their spouse.
- They have a belief in keeping the family together.
Take Note Of These Facts
The reasons mentioned above may seem to have their points. But the fact is that no person must feel afraid, threatened, or forced by anyone, especially their spouse. Basically:
- You have the right to be safe and free from abuse.
- It is not your fault. The person who is mistreating you is always responsible for their actions.
- Abusive people need help.
- Abused children should also be rescued – witnessing abuse is abuse itself.
Get out of the relationship NOW if you are being abused.
“Here’s the thing: It all comes back to us, to our responsibility and accountability,” Michael J. Formica, M.S., M.A., Ed.M shares. “But, in this case, it comes back to responsibility to ourselves and accountability to ourselves. Instead of just riding the wave, if we choose to mindfully examine the nature of our relationships and make a determination of what is acceptable and not acceptable to us, of what feeds us, rather than bleeds us, then we are living, and loving, authentically and with mindful awareness.”